One demand from the Talking Stick is that the one who is holding it also speaks the truth. But before we can do that we have to train on it. Train to look into the own, mystic, dark, inner dream-world.
When it comes to other people we cannot really know the truth behind their words and actions, but still we tell others about how they are and in the same time we have a tendency to lie also about ourselves.
We often say that we like or dislike something or somebody, even if it is not true, just to be liked or to avoid trouble.
We say that we are fine even if we are not. We do the same with others, but too often in the opposite way: we say that they are sick even if they are not.
Focus on finding your own hidden emotions!
One thing we should learn from the Talking Stick is to stop telling how other persons are ”inside”, because we don´t know it. We should focus on learning to recognize different ”original feelings” in ourselves, which is also not easy. Christianity, Buddhism, shamanism, psychology... they all have mountains of knowledge about how to identify and treat various emotions and feelings within the own psyche. If we cannot even identify our own inner feelings and motivations, how then can we identify the deeper energy motions of another persons mind?
In a group the participants usually do not search for "own opinions". They say what is written in a book or spoken by a leader that they refer to and this leader has a certain intent (which might be obvious or hidden), but if the group is so big that it is called mainstream, with no single dominant leader, it is more difficult to see what is going on. You will have to step out of the group to become an individual, but then you will be accused, by the other sheep, of having stepped into another group and being brainwashed by it! (And maybe you have!)
To follow a group is a ”sheep behaviour” and a group can also be referred to as a ”spirit”. It is a ”bigger mind” that is controlling many small individuals who feel safe and taken care of by the group, who is like a ”fathers´s house”. The whole group shares the same dream, which is the fundament for it´s existence. So it becomes very dangerous to say something that the group does not like – you can get cast out from your home and be looked upon as an enemy! A sheep cannot understand how it is possible not to be part of a flock, so if you are not in my flock you must be in someone else´s flock. There is no third alternative for a good sheep.
Tell about your own status and not about someon else´s!
A fresh example of judging others blindly is from facebook:
”...i USA styr en patologisk narcissist...”
You can say truthfully that from reading the news about a person, you get a bad impression about him, that you get the impression that he might be a narcissist. But is it really OK to write that "he is...", which is to publish a clear statement (a truth), in this case in the form of a psychic diagnosis about someone else, a statement that might not be true? Not even for a trained doctor or psychologist is it OK to do so!
It is OK that I talk about my own impression, because then I talk about my own inner space. But if I judge someone else the next question is: how did I get this impression and what is it based upon? Did I meet this person in real life? How did I feel when I met him? Why did I feel this?
In this case the impression is not coming directly from that person, who is being judged, - it comes from someone else who has made a film, article or headline about him, so it is filtered through that third person, who is unknown to the judge/writer, if he/she has not met him. "That third person" can also be a spirit in the form of a flock of sheep with an unanimous agenda, that he/she knows nothing about.
If I did never meet this person, from where did I get so much information that I could make such a diagnosis? From having had long talks with his wife and children or from talking with his enemies?
Or just from headlines in the media that are having a certain agenda, sharing the same dream? Is this really my own opinion or am I just following the mainstream, my sheep flock, because I don´t want to expose myself to the risk of getting "cast out from the herd", which in nature would mean death and in business something similar.
Or am I just throwing my own frustrations on to another person that I want to blame for something within my self? The use of the Talking Stick is focused on at least trying to find out what is behind my emotions and opinions about the outer world.
Byron Katie has done work with exactly this, without using a stick, but her method is not far away from the Indian Talking Stick Method. Look closer at your dream!
The Talking Stick is also a tool to show who is "having the word" but when making a film this part is often taken care of by cameras, microphones and editing.
She has helped people to look inside themselves to understand what was behind their opinions of other persons.