Today I was tidying up my home and later in the afternoon I wanted to finish the writing about Creative Conflict that I had started yesterday, but that was not possible because I was so tired that I almost fell asleep.
There is one thing that always wakes me up if I am tired in daytime and that is to get down to the lake and throw myself into the cold water. It is like waking up to a new day!
It is a cloudy day and not too warm so I thought I would be alone with the trees, sands, winds and waters, but...
I reached the place exactly in the same time as twelve other persons also came in their cars and gathered on the sandy shore. They were dressed in white with black belts and holding long, wooden sticks.
About Creative Conflict
The Talking Stick is about understanding each others emotions and motivations, those that are behind the conflicts that arise. Conflicts are often transformed into agression and what we call bad or destructive behaviour like quarreling, screaming and fighting, which we want to avoid because we want to ”have peace”. Quarreling about who is right and who is wrong is like a war. And wars are killing the world!!! So we must have peace!!! And some people think that one day there will be peace on earth!
But the result of this nice ideal is that we are so afraid of conflicts that we no longer dare to say what we think or mean.
Some people do not really like this kind of peace.
They prefer energy and energy can be created by two opposite forces, so they find oppositions more interesting, because there is a chance to understand something new and there is a chance to creativity. If we just look at the opposition and investigate it! From what is is it built up? And how?
But the result of this nice ideal is that we are so afraid of conflicts that we no longer dare to say what we think or mean.
Some people do not really like this kind of peace.
They prefer energy and energy can be created by two opposite forces, so they find oppositions more interesting, because there is a chance to understand something new and there is a chance to creativity. If we just look at the opposition and investigate it! From what is is it built up? And how?
So... why not a little creative conflict, where we can get new energy from focusing on something that we did not understand before and then step out of this conflict as two coworkers that have gained new insights?
Isn´t that better than to be peacefully sleepwalking with empty words that do not reflect reality. When the Indian gurus talk about love they do not mean that kind of empty ”love” that just consists of avoiding conflicts. They mean ”the love of everything that belongs to nature and to our psyche”. It does not mean that they love bombs and missiles. On the contrary: the bombs and weapons are the result of us not being able to solve conflicts at an early stage.
Why do we not? Because we do not dare to look at them. We pretend that they do not exist because we want to be ”positive”.
But conflicts should be solved as quickly as possible, before they start growing, so we have to learn to discover them as quickly as possible. That can also be called ”positive”! It is just a little bit more difficult!
Why do we not? Because we do not dare to look at them. We pretend that they do not exist because we want to be ”positive”.
But conflicts should be solved as quickly as possible, before they start growing, so we have to learn to discover them as quickly as possible. That can also be called ”positive”! It is just a little bit more difficult!
As a conflict gives energy some people just create conflicts because they like to get this energy kick. Those who like to fight might not be interested in solving the conflict. Earlier we had the knights that were fighting with each other to test who was the strongest and there are also many martial arts where a more elegant fighting method is taught. Such disciplines should be taught at every school together with the Talking Circles (with Talking Sticks!) to send light into newborn conflicts to prevent them from becoming ”real” and destructive.
Instead of being afraid of conflicts – why not love them and treat them in more subtle, refined and graceful ways?
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