Teaching world leaders to listen.

The Talking Stick is a symbol for communication that is based on listening. It is also a physical, beautiful object that makes the whole thing much more fun and easy because you can see with your eyes who is supposed to talk and who should listen. We live in the age of communication and there is a lot of talking going on, but how much do we listen? And how much do we listen to ourselves?

Some people teach children to use the Talking Stick and there are also people who teach the art of listening to world leaders. William Ury is such a person, a world-famous negotiation expert, and he is working with the big leaders in the world, helping them to handle serious conflicts. He has worked as a negotiation adviser and mediator in conflicts in the Middle East, the Balkans, the former Soviet Union, Indonesia, Yugoslavia, Chechnya, and Venezuela among other countries. He does not present a painted stick with pearls and feathers to the directors and presidents, but he uses other tactics to invoke ”the spirit of listening” and he is here telling about a meeting with Ugo Chavez where the whole aggressive attitude of the president got changed in just half an hour because William silently just listened to him. 

If you study the behaviour of successful negotiators you find that they listen far more than they talk, he says. Negotiation is to try to change someone else´s mind, but how can you do that if you do not know where the other person´s mind is? Listening is the key! It builds rapport and trust.

Real listening is tuning in to the other person´s wavelength and listening from that person´s frame of reference. We listen to the feelings, emotions and needs that are behind the words, what that person really needs or wants.

The power of listening | William Ury

He says that his dream is a ”listening revolution” that could turn this Age of Communication into an Age of True Communication.

He says:

Imagine a world where every child learns to listen at an early age! What if we taught listening in school? Imagine a world where parents learn to listen to their children! Imagine a world where leaders learn to listen to the people! What if we chose leaders based on their ability to listen and not just talk?